A hungry cat resorts to increasingly drastic measures to wake its sleeping owner.

A man is talking to his neighbor and proudly proclaims, "I just bought a brand new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's the latest technology, state of the art. It's absolutely perfect."

"Really," says the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Quarter after Twelve," responds the man.

Marketing Goof:

Grandma is busy in the kitchen with the new blender she just found.

Perhaps "Poultry Flavored Soup Mix" would have been more appropriate.

A big bear and little rabbit were taking a dump side by side in the woods. The bear looked down at the rabbit and asked, "Do you have trouble with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replied "no". So the bear wiped his bottom with the rabbit.

A visiting tourist from Wisconsin is walking down a street in New York City when a strange character calls him and asks "Hey buddy, you wanna buy a ghost?"