Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic s*x shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally she arrives at the counter, grabbing it for support.

She asks the sales clerk: "Dddodo yyou sssell dddddildosss?"

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have d*ldos. Actually we sell many models."

The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ssssellll aaa llllitttlee pppinkk one, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss thththiiickkk?"

The clerk responds, "Yes we do".

"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee hhhhowwww ttttoooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ffffuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"