The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

A woman is overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days," he tells her. "Then skip a day and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds."

When the woman returns, she's lost nearly forty pounds. "Why that's amazing," the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The woman nods. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger you mean?" asks the doctor.

"No," replies the woman, "from skipping."