Next time you're having a bad day, imagine this ...

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

One of these days I'm gonna give that cat what's coming to him.

West Virginia Mountains

The Daily Gazette hired a recent graduate of the journalism college to write human-interest articles for the newspaper.

He decided to go into the West Virginia Mountains to do his research.

He found an old farmer's house along an isolated road and introduced himself to the man. He asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"

The old farmer thought for a moment and said, "Yep, one time a neighbor's sheep got lost. We all formed a posse and found it. Then we all screwed it a little and took it back home."

"I can't print that," the young reporter exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that made you happy?"

"Yep, one time a neighbor's daughter got lost, so we formed a posse and found her. After we all screwed her real good, we took her home."

"Hell, I can't print that either," cried the frustrated reporter. "Has anything ever happened that made you SAD?"

The old farmer dropped his head and sat quietly for a few seconds. Then he timidly replied, "Yep, I got lost once."

The chicken or the egg? We still don't know definitively.